Greetings people. Hi.

This is not a Film, lest for a single moment I confuse you. I am the body guard to the assistant of the coffee boy of the Sound Guy. My name? It is Vincent, but most people call me Corey for short.

I have the distinct ability to provide you (the adoring fans and psychotic daughters), with an INSIDE hidden cam look into the average day of being a Film.

I am going to make three promises here.

1) My posts will be more entertaining and visual then the sum of the whole of any of either, the guitar player guy, the singer fella pretending to play guitar, the skinny one, and that other guy in the back.

B) I really like Tacos.

3) You can rest assured that the rest of the band will absolutely HATE my posts because I humiliate, exploit, reveal and document their every move... All for you of course.

Now that you have my three oaths of valor and sanctity, we can get straight to the pictures.

This is Kenny, he does guitar things. This picture was taken about 8 seconds after I said, "Hey Kenny, my shoes are untied, can you kindly go down and fix the situation?"

Needless to say once he got down there he realized I had done him in. For my shoes cannot be tied, they are what some might call, "un-tie-able." Kenny's face is priceless here, "Aww shucks, Corey, you got invisible laces!"

But seriously guys? Kenny is so cute.

This is the lead singers socks. He won them in a Super Wall Mart Sweepsteaks Giveaway Blowout Savings Event. All he had to do was send in a video of himself dressed as Frodo Baggins with the HARRIEST FEET possible. What Wall Mart didnt know? The feet in his pictures that he submitted were actually Chewbaccas feet photo shopped onto Frodo Baggins' body, with Mikes head on top.


Ok, this is the point in the program where I stop talking about the Films and I continue on to discuss other, more pressing, matters. I'll just come out and say it in four words.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LESS FUNNY THAN TOOL TIME DUBBED IN GERMAN.

I dont know what you guys are up to, I love you all and whatnot, but this unrelenting slaughter of all my favorite mediocre television shows has got to end. What would Tim Allen have to say about this? I'll tell you what he would say, because he once worked for me as an assistant car keys and TV remote locater, he would say "I think that Corey is right."

Now why would Tim Allen say that? Because I paid him to say stuff like that. Thats why.

But, after y'all went and had a totallack of respect for my television, you did THIS...

And totally redeemed yourself!

The pure amount of mud slinging, boot wearing, flag waving, mouse milking, gum chewing, stall pissin', 24/7 party people living MADNESS that you guys called your homes over the festival weekends was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.

I pull my CHUMP card out on all Americans and their unwillingness to sleep with the mud grubs for 72 hours JUST to see some rock'n'roll.

So I have things to attended to. I know you will all check back here every day and read this blog (even the other guys stuff too) because you never know what kind of filth will make its way onto the internet.